I never knew that comparing myself to others
Trying to find happiness within them
Would bring me so much misery
Destroying the way I look at myself
Destroying the way I think
Or believe in me
Hoping to find a way to stop
Becoming crazy over little things
Overthinking everything
Just wanting to be
proud of who I am
Wanting someone who’s there
Not being judged by
Who won’t think I am crazy
And I think I would lie if I say
I don’t miss this person
The person I never had
Crazy to believe I know how my life works
Smashed down by everyone who passes me
Never knowing if I am worth it
Trying to believe the lies I tell myself
Not knowing who I am
A problem in this society
Have to know what I wanna do
When I’m out of this hell
Still uncertain which path I’ll choose
Don’t wanna get lost
But I think it’s too late to get found
Wanting a hand to hold
Wanting to be happy
Not constantly being reminded of what a fucking burden I am
Not being believed with how I feel
Cause everyone believed my lie
Believed that I was happy
When in reality I drowned
Drowned in the swamp of my thoughts
The voices I believe
They tell me to stop
Just let go they say
I’ve done my fight
Today I lost
No that’s not true
What will be tomorrow
I try to fight
Waves of insecurity hit me like a truck
Panic starts to creep inside my mind
Wanting to get out
Finding a way out
The only thing I want
Believing that misery is the only thing I can feel
The only thing I am allowed to feel
Is that even true
My journey just began
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